


Who We Are When Gods

by SecretSingerOfAll



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark Obi-Wan Kenobi, Episode: s03e17 Ghosts of Mortis, Eventual Fix-It, Fix-It, Gen, Mortis (Star Wars), of sorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-05 21:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17927027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretSingerOfAll/pseuds/SecretSingerOfAll
Summary: The Father tried to warn them.He told them to go.They were seconds to late, or perhaps right on time.





	1. First Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Well. I’ve had this AU on my mind for some time, but, with my return to fanfic writing comes this!

It begins with the Father looking them in the eyes as he dies. Especially Obi-Wan.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Go, quickly. Or it will be too late.”

 

They don’t escape Mortis’ destruction, not exactly. Each of them instead split n two. Two deeply and completely connected, but two.

 

In human form, they awaken on their ship. To those they were meeting, the two days on Mortis had been a mere moment. And they try to return to normal life.

 

But they awaken that night to realize how impossible that is.

 

Because they awaken on Mortis.

 

Ahsoka awakens in a tower made of light with a body that truly will fit her in just a few years but now just feels alien and too large. She’s 15 years old but now she awakens with the true knowledge of the Light Side of the Force. In an unfamiliar body and an unfamiliar place. And she remembers  _ everything _ .

 

What would you do? What would you do, if you were her? If you were alone and not,  _ never _ , ready, for knowledge that, in another world, would have come to you gradually, in a stable way.

 

Well, Ahsoka pulls herself to Anakin. Still a beacon in the Force, but… different. She has no idea how she does it, but she finds herself in front of Anakin. Anakin… who is also different.

 

Anakin, too, awakens in his truest and most powerful form. Yet also in a body alien to him.  And he knows  _ everything _ . But, to his credit, his soul had been crafted to take this, should he need to. So he isn’t quite as upset and confused.

 

Nonetheless, he is overwhelmed to some extent. He recognizes where he is, however. Mortis. The Father’s Temple.

 

He can feel two other people, as well. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, who feels…

 

Obi-Wan, as is typical, finds himself with the worst luck. He awakens garbed in black with eyes of red and gold. And with true knowledge of the Dark Side.

 

The thing is, though… knowledge isn’t always better than ignorance, and certainly not for Obi-Wan. For the Dark is a beautiful thing, but it is dangerous, and it can swallow you up if you aren’t careful.

 

And for Obi-Wan, a Jedi, to see that beauty… it terrifies him like nothing else.

 

So he, too, reaches out for Anakin. Anakin, always a supernova, now… twice as much, yet also a black hole in equal measure.

  
  
  


Anakin stares in shock. These are quite obviously his Master and his Padawan, and yet…

 

There stands Ahsoka. Tall, looking adult, looking terrified.

 

There stands Obi-Wan. Hunched, clothed in black, and with eyes glowing with the Dark.

 

This was why the Father had warned them to leave, right at the end.

 

They’re trapped, now.

 

Anakin doesn’t know what to do.

 

But he can see in their eyes that his distress pales in comparison. So he looks at them both and he says “how can I help?”

 

Ahsoka’s running for him in an instant, clinging to him, tightly.

 

“Master, I don’t understand,” she says. “It’s all swirling around in my head, but I don’t understand.”

 

Anakin holds her, gently.

 

“I know, Ahsoka,” he says. “I know; it’s a lot.”

 

Ahsoka just chokes down a sob and clings tighter.

 

For Anakin, you see, things have already begun to settle within his thoughts. The Light, the Dark, and the Ballance set just as past a future knowledge does the same.

 

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

 

And their Mortal bodies still live.

 

And… oh… to sleep in one body is to awaken in the other? That perhaps explains a lot.

 

“But sleep,” he says, gesturing to the bed. “It will return you to the Galaxy.”

 

“I… I don’t know if I can,” Ahsoka whispers. “It’s too much.”

 

“Then I’ll lay with you,” Anakin says.

 

Obi-Wan is silent, quite literally shrinking into the shadows. Anakin will deal with that, next.

 

Ahsoka’s young. And vulnerable. So he strokes her lek gently until her breathing slows.

 

Then he turns to Obi-Wan.

 

“Master,” he says.

 

“Anakin.”

 

Anakin sighs.

 

“Somebody had to hold the Dark, Obi-Wan.”

 

Obi-Wan wraps his arms around himself.

 

“I’m a Jedi,” he says. “Why is the Dark so beautiful?”

 

Anakin smiles.

 

“Because the Force has never been a coin toss of Light and Dark,” he says. “It’s always been every color of the rainbow.”

 

Obi-Wan sighs.

 

“Nonetheless, I’m Fallen,” he says. “How can I wake and return to the Jedi with eyes of gold?”

 

Anakin sighs.

 

“You won’t, Master,” he says. “You control the Dark Side,  _ not _ the other way around. You can still be a Jedi, just… with a new point of view.”

 

Obi-Wan laughs.

 

“I suppose,” he says. Then, shifting to a winged form, he says “I’m sorry, Anakin, I just… need some time to think.”

 

Anakin nods.

 

“See you in the morning,” he says.

 

When he’s finally alone, again, he collapses. Summoning a saber, he walks into the larger entry hall, to practice. Moving meditation had always been best, to him.

 

The past he can think about. He can sense a shadowy figure manipulating his life…

 

Sidious…

 

Almost. Almost marrying Padme. But it had been destiny more than love, so choosing the Jedi, instead. That had unbalanced the timeline. Changed it.

 

Meeting Fives. Now that was romantic love. Different than anything he’d felt before. Not more, though, just… different.

 

Mortis. A glimpse of the future. He’d Fallen.

 

More things to come. Obi-Wan betrays him. Ahsoka leaves. Fives dies— no, Anakin  _ thinks  _ he dies. But he lives. Dying for real.

 

Falling to save him.

 

Children. Theirs. Taken  _ from _ them…

 

Pain. Evil. Forcing himself up.

 

And so much more outside of just himself.

 

Sidious…

 

Palpatine…

 

No!

 

Anakin freezes. His saber slips from his hand.

 

Palpatine is Sidious.

 

It takes some time to fall asleep, and he wakes up crying.

 

Then he feels arms around him.

 

“Anakin?”

 

Fives.

 

Anakin clings to Fives, now. Silent.

 

He controls his fate, now.

 

And he will save everyone.

 

He has no other options.

 

(But isn’t that how he watched things go wrong?)


	2. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone processes their new abilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, an update!

Obi-Wan flies. He flies and he flies and he flies until he can fly no more. He doesn’t know where he is except that he does. He knows… more than he can possibly process.

 

But, looking with his own eyes… he begins to feel it, see it.

 

The Well of the Dark Side.

 

It shines to him, perfect. The horrible beauty that now consumes him.

 

He needs to get a hold of himself, so he walks in human form towards it, glides down into it with the Force.

 

It’s so different than anything he’s used before.

His brushes with the Dark Side have been… violent. Uncontrolled. Nothing, he will eventually realize, like the truth.

 

And this is different. Every action takes even more control, but works so much more fluidly.

 

The Dark Side is dangerous, however, this remains true. It feels as if, every moment, it wishes to consume him.

 

Is that what happened to the Son, he grew so powerful that his control broke and turned him to evil?

 

Because, he is quickly realizing, the Dark Side is not evil.

 

It is worse than that.

 

Like a whirlpool, it pulls you in. Easy to become trapped in, easy to be consumed by.

 

Difficult to swim in.

 

To hold onto yourself as you go down and deep into it.

 

Which is what Obi-Wan resigns himself to do as he kneels down on the bottom platform.

 

_ We are the beginning, the middle, and  _ **_the end_ ** _. _

 

And he reaches out.

 

The living Sith mostly barely brush him as he reaches through his power and knowledge.

 

He is the Dark. He is the future. He hates it.

 

And still, he reaches out.

 

On Sith truly goes deep within his powers. A name. Darth Sidious. Dooku’s Master.

 

No. Not Dooku. Darth Tyrannus.

 

He continues to reach out towards the future.

 

But not the future.

 

He first reaches out into what should have been.

 

And he doesn’t believe it.

 

First, Maul. Maul is alive. Maul returns, and he hurts those that Obi-Wan loves.

 

Second… He isn’t sure if his eyes are open or closed, for, either way, lava surrounds him. For he doesn’t quite watch.

 

Anakin Falls, and they fight. Obi-Wan wins. Darth Sidious’ dark shadow covers everything.

 

And Sidious swims with the Dark Side, but he feels as if without love in his heart. Almost without a soul. He’s a master at the Dark as Obi-Wan had understood it.

 

But not the Dark as it is, he realizes.

 

He goes further. 

 

Finally.

 

The Sith end. Something else rises.

 

Obi-Wan stops looking forwards. Instead, now, he pulls his focus inwards.

 

He feels his own presence. Dark. Darker than the deepest black. It feels like a black hole on the inside of him.

 

But… it doesn’t scare him.

 

Or, it does, but he doesn’t only feel fear as he reaches in. It disgusts him still, though.

 

The Dark is nothing like he’d been taught, but he’s still a  _ Jedi _ . A  _ Fallen _ Jedi.

 

How can he wake up and face them like this?

 

But then… he thinks. The dark side is like a whirl pool. Water.

 

Can he make the surface look calm. Clear. Light?

 

So he sits. And he does it. Slowly. And, when he’s done, he’s exhausted enough to sleep.

 

And, when he wakes up and looks himself in the mirror, his eyes are blue.

  
  
  


Ahsoka wakes up antsy, even more uncomfortable under her skin. She’s had no time to parse through her new knowledge, but she somehow knows that her connection is… different to her Master’s, or even to Obi-Wan’s!

 

She sits. Tries to meditate. She’s not very good at it, and she can’t get to the right spot in her mind. She gives up and wanders out into the hallway.

 

This much she can understand. She can’t access her full knowledge in this form. She likes it better that way.

 

She would got to Anakin’s room, but she knows that Fives is there, and Anakin is still on Mortis, probably.

 

She doesn’t know where she’s going or what she’s doing, but she knows that she doesn’t want to go to sleep and wake up on Mortis, the power and knowledge still overwhelming.

 

Especially because, now… she remembers.

 

_ We are  _ **_the beginning,_ ** _ the middle, and the end. _

 

She remembers dying. She’d  _ died _ on Mortis, the first time, and she doesn’t…

 

She wraps her arms around herself, trying not to cry. She’s overwhelmed. She should meditate. Panicking is not the Jedi way.

 

Except that she can’t calm down. It’s still too much.

 

She goes back to her room still lost.

  
  
  


They find each other the next morning, and all of them are tired and still confused. And Obi-Wan appears perfectly normal, to Anakin.

 

Well, besides the heavy but near-invisible shields.

 

Anakin would never know that Obi-Wan was Fallen and upset if he didn’t know the man.

 

“It’s real,” he says. It’s not a question. Silence descends once more. Just like it’s not a question, nobody needs to answer.

 

Anakin sighs.

 

“I… meditated on it, last night,” he says. “And I came to understand some things.”

 

Obi-Wan nods.

 

“As did I,” he says. “Though I must ask… who is Darth Sidious?”

 

Sidious…

 

Anakin sings.

 

“I don’t know,” he says. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

 

Ahsoka droops.

 

“I couldn’t meditate,” she says. “I might know who Sidious is if I had… but, who is Sidious?”

 

“The Sith Master,” Anakin says. “He’s the Sith Master… and, for a time, he was meant to win.”

 

“But we can find and stop him now, right?” Ahsoka asks. Anakin sighs. There’s no right answers to an impossible question.

 

“I… don’t know,” he says.

 

_ We are the beginning,  _ **_the middle,_ ** _ and the end. _

 

He  _ is _ the Balance, now, and fates must go as they are meant to, to keep those fates. Or else things go wrong for the Force itself.

 

So Anakin  _ wants  _ to change things, he really does, but…

 

“I don’t know, Ahsoka,” he says. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Please tell me what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m @secretsingerofall on Tumblr. come check me out!


End file.
